Small argument with brother..he calls cops..

A week in rikers. First 2 days layed out on floor withdrawal, time was over I smelled like pigshit praying for death. Then, TYPICAL shit in rikers man. Puerto rican dude lets me use a few phone calls gives me a shirt to wear while I washed my "throw back" as a guy called it, Pippen jersey , today i get waken up guy yells "GELLER TIME FOR COURT" I replied that's aight, I'll take the penalty not going. So officer ccomes by and insists. I get on the bus, always a joyous ride. I get there, few cheese sandwiches. They got this broad talkin to me bout a fucking year plong drug program i had to apologise 3 times to her for foulmouthing i was so agitated. So I figure this is it, last time they offered outpatient I refused this time passive penalty went up to a year program I said no, ill be on the bus back to rikers keepin my clean time. Officer comes by says GELLER COME TO SEE THE JUDgE. then says "No judge, you going home." This SMIRK WAS SINCERE. I got angry. Cause im a fucking needle ridden junkie. and rikesr as my saviour they took it away from me. NOW THATS WHAT I CALL PUNISHMENT. THE JOINT OUTA BE A VACATION , PRISON WORST CASE SCENARIO ID BECOME A LADY. But this right here , this is fucking torture. And ...well...this is me.

G'nite.

Oh yeah, this autistic dude also puerto rican when I was in rikesr first time in late april, we were on the bus togeteher goin to court, we gettin of f the bus asshole pulls me i almost fell off the bus stair case todaye in waiting cvell in staten island he comes up to me smiles puts out his hand to shake mine and says "Remember me?" in a friendly tone. I said no. Few sentences  small talk later, he gets rude.  Finally I gave in. I lowered my face, pointed to my chin and said "aight guy, first shot's yours." He smiled...and walked away.

Dental work denied again. Insult to injury on a perpetual victim.

Snakes in my shadow. Novel by paul geller. new york times god.

Brother stole all my passwords and changed them.
In return for me asking what he wants me to do for him
to make up for my years of fuck ups. I guess all he
wants is for me to die while he's my shadow.
But then where will that leave him when i'm 6 under?
Aight. Imma let it be.

Fughedbout pops, he tries to intimidate me into becoming a homo cause hes a miserable closet case. He wants to kill me? I'll just watch.